“I Went to Bat for You”: When Favoritism Isn’t Flattering—It’s Control

Some of the strangest conversations I’ve ever had happened behind closed doors—with Elizabeth Schmidt, my former supervisor at Venture Forthe.

At first, she made me feel like I was special. She’d say things like, “You’re not like the others,” or “They don’t care the way you do.” She’d talk down about the other trainers, then build me up as her favorite. “They can’t learn the internet programs like you,” she once told me—as if my skills somehow justified the way she’d isolate me from my peers.

It wasn’t mentorship. It was manipulation.

The phrase she leaned on most? “I went to bat for you.”
She used it as a kind of moral currency, invoking it anytime I questioned something or said something she didn’t like. 

And what exactly was her version of “going to bat”?

She said she got us $50 a month for classroom supplies from the president. That was it. That was her grand act of advocacy. And for over a year, she recycled that same phrase—“I went to bat for you”—as if I owed her silence and loyalty in exchange for a company pen budget.

She also said it during the meeting with Debbie Rougeux, Administrator - the one where she tried to assassinate my character and I calmly stood my ground. That meeting was recorded. I had confronted her about pressuring me into allowing a student back into my class after I had dismissed them for valid reasons. She lied about it in front of Debbie, then immediately fell back on her usual line: “I went to bat for you.” Not as support, but as guilt. As if that one act - securing $50 a month for classroom supplies - gave her permission to override my judgment, blur my boundaries, and silence me when I called it out.

It wasn’t support. It was leverage.
A subtle threat wrapped in fake generosity.

Even worse, she’d confide in me about the private lives of others at the company—including other RN instructors, recruiters, HR staff, the president, the administrator, and even students. She told me about their affairs, illnesses, financial struggles, personal issues, and even sensitive information. I never asked to hear any of it. But she told me anyway. And every time, I was left wondering what she was saying about me behind closed doors.

It also made me feel like I had to keep everyone's secrets, like a child being told not to tattle. It was immature, inappropriate, and left me carrying burdens that were never mine to hold. .I will never speak about those private issues involving any employee, even those mentioned in this blog. Those things are very personal and should be kept that way. And, I am not that person.

Now, I see it clearly.
This wasn’t leadership. It wasn’t respect. It was control - disguised as favoritism, and dressed up as help.

She never went to bat for me.
She went to bat for her own image of power.

And I’m no longer interested in playing along.

-- K